Blog - A Teacher's Best Friend

Teacher Gossip: Letting Go of What Others Think of You

July 15, 2015

Teacher gossip and judgement are rampant in some schools. I know because as I coach teachers from across the country, I hear these statements over and over :

People will judge me for (fill in the blank) – leaving early, setting boundaries…
I don’t want people to think I’m a (fill in the blank) – slacker, suck-up, pushover…
I want people to see me as (fill in the blank) – an asset, superwoman or superman…
I want people to like me
I hate upsetting people
I don’t want to make waves or cause a fuss
I hate letting people down

What do these all have in common? They are other-oriented – focused on how others view you or what others think about you.

Other-orientation (focusing on others’ thoughts and feelings) makes you compassionate, empathetic, and caring. However, other-orientation can also be toxic. When these are the types of thoughts that control the decisions you make about your time, activities, priorities or attitudes, then who is in control of your life? That’s right…others. Ouch.

[Read more…]

Taking Care of Yourself As A Teacher

July 8, 2015

As I write this, I’m on a plane – another work trip away from home. But in these moments of reflection, I’m always gifted with a solid gold nugget of truth. Maybe it’s because I’m not pulled in a million directions by a two-year-old or the fact I’m not literally praying that my child won’t be the one screaming the entire flight. Today’s came as the flight attendant prepared us to leave. I was unusually attentive to the safety preparation instructions. He went through the usual instructions for the seat belt, safety information card, and life preserver. Then he got to the oxygen mask…

I happened to be sitting next to a small child (almost 3 – made me miss my own little one so much!) and his father. After instructing all of us in how to put on the oxygen mask, the flight attendant specifically came to our row to repeat it. “Sir, make sure you secure your mask before assisting your son.” There it was. We’ve heard this a million times, and yet it’s important enough to come over and remind parents individually. Why? Because it’s so counter-intuitive for parents. And it’s counter-intuitive for teachers.

We hardly ever ‘secure our oxygen mask’ before we attend to our students. [Read more…]

Prevent Being an Exhausted Teacher

July 1, 2015

Exhaustion is a feeling every teacher can relate to! Exhaustion is different from just being tired. Exhaustion is defined as the state of extreme physical or mental fatigue, also “the state of using something up completely”.

…used up completely.

Ouch.

When something is used up completely there, by definition, is nothing left! So what happens if you hit the exhaustion point halfway through the week? How do you give more to your students when there is literally nothing left to give and you are – by all accounts – an exhausted teacher? [Read more…]

Not Good Enough To Teach

June 25, 2015

This post is part of my series on Wholehearted Teaching which provides some tips for tackling some of our greatest barriers to being “all in” with our calling as teachers. I previewed the series with a blog on self-compassion (the antidote to perfectionism), my last post was on modeling risk taking and learning from mistakes and failures (the antidote to fear of failure), and today we’ll tackle one of the biggest obstacles – the fear that we are not good enough to teach and that we are simply not enough for our students.

This is a silent killer of teacher’s souls. The thought lurks in the back of our brains. Sometimes never coming to the forefront of our thoughts, but silently wreaking havoc on our ability to be happy in our roles and with our performance as teachers. The truth is – it plays on our deepest fear – that we wouldn’t be good enough at the one thing we care most about – making a difference for our students. [Read more…]

Model Failing…Forward

June 18, 2015

Wholehearted Teaching Series, Post 2:

“In life, the question is not if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with your problems. If the possibility of failure were erased, what would you attempt to achieve?” – John C. Maxwell

The reason why John C. Maxwell’s book, Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success, is a bestseller is the fact that mistakes and failures are a universal circumstance. We all fail.

As I recall some of my greatest failures in life and in the classroom, I wince. Failure isn’t fun. But it is necessary for growth, learning, and self-actualization. And, since those are the very same goals we have for students, we intuitively understand that failure is important for students to experience.

As wholehearted teachers, we have to model and normalize failure as part of the learning process – and as part of life! [Read more…]

Teaching With Your Whole Heart

June 10, 2015

No one denies the power and impact of a great teacher.

There is something intangible that students learn from the greats. Something internal. Something deeper than just understanding the content. It’s something about these teachers personally.

Self-respect. Confidence. Self-Efficacy. Belief. Positivity. Authenticity.

Students are drawn to this type of person. Behavior management is easier and students are engaged. We as humans are naturally drawn to people who exude wholeheartedness and authenticity.

So, the question is, are you teaching wholeheartedly? Are you approaching your classroom from a place of complete authenticity? [Read more…]

Become a Better Teacher

June 2, 2015

What is the measuring stick for being a “good teacher”?

There are a million ways that question can be answered. The District might reply “high test scores”. The students might reply, “making learning fun”. The parents might reply “making learning rigorous and applicable to the real world”.

But what would you say? [Read more…]

Why Teachers Need Coaches

May 19, 2015

There are coaches for olympic athletes. Coaches for public speakers, singers, and writers. There are coaches for executives. And even coaches for teachers.

Coaching for teachers comes in many forms – collegial coaching and instructional coaching to name a couple. But what about personal coaching? How about professional coaching?

As a teacher, can you talk to your colleagues about “the hard stuff” without feeling as if you are burdening them? Can you talk to your principal about career growth? [Read more…]

Let’s Be Teacher BFFs!

May 18, 2015

Welcome to A Teacher’s Best Friend! I’m Alison – nice to meet you!!

I’m a former teacher, teacher trainer, curriculum developer, and current BFF to teachers. I began my career as a teacher, so I know that teaching is truly a service profession that requires ongoing connection to passion, strong personal and professional boundaries, and a very strong sense of self and worthiness. I had the passion part – but the rest was very difficult for me, so the passion began to erode and was replaced by a stress-resentment cocktail (Ouch!) that was a recipe for disaster.

However, it also planted a seed that has bloomed into my true life-calling and life’s work – supporting teachers. And I mean REALLY supporting teachers – with what you need deep down in your soul. [Read more…]

Target of Focus

February 1, 2015

Enjoy this exercise to help you focus your mind/attention on the things that you choose!

Target-of-Focus Download

Please leave a question or comment below!

PS – Focusing your mind is a key strategy for beating burnout. Find more resources here.